The Meaning of Time

It has been seven years of consistent writing practice - 320 pages, 17 notebooks, 46 pens. It has been 3 cases of wine since I saw you last and I’ve filled my gas tank enough times since I last saw my family to drive across the country, but I haven’t done that yet.

These days I measure time in spaces filled and spaces left empty. We’ve filled the refrigerator 4 times since the last time I crossed the Bay Bridge. The last time I crossed the Bay Bridge was 2 rent checks ago and today the refrigerator looks thin. So does my bank account.

Today, Venus will start its journey moving from the evening star to the morning star. The Moon spins on its axis but one rotation takes 27.3 days - a day is every time the Sun rises over the Sierra Nevadas - which is the same time it takes to rotate the Earth, so the Moon only shows us half herself. The tides made her do it. They call this tidal locking.

“Time is experienced,” he said. They say the experience of time in dreaming life as compared to waking life is 144:1. They say that the axis of the Earth aligned with the center of a Black Hole in 2012 and that started a new 5.000 year cycle. Lately, deja vu comes more often. It feels like like an old friend and also one I have never met. It’s as if spheres of experience that we call past, present, and future are aligning and I perceive each all at once yet distinctly separate.

I wonder what this means for healing. I wonder if touch is felt by all the versions of myself.